White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
