Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
