I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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