Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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