he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
