Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
