Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize