More tranny stories later!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
