Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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