there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
