I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
