sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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