great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You can't special order awesome
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
