Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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