The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
