so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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