he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
