That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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