Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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