HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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