I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
