we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
