The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm gonna fight the coyote
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
