i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
