I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
