yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
