My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
