the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
