Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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