How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize