if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
