So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
