Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize