My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
are you so shy because you have an std?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
