My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Dicks are not precious.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
