I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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