You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
