i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
