So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
