I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
