He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
