Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i came on her dog
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
