So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
