I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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