he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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