Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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