Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
