kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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