i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
