Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize