Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
