whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
