so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
