Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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