saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize