btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
