k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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