I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
