to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
