I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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