If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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