Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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