It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
