I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
