I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
