We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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