So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I party with great urgency now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
