Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
