I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize